Selfish Play
A couple months ago, I had the chance to meet Jillian Michaels. I was helping RoleMommy with a PR promotion in NYC. While I was there, I heard Jillian say, “it’s ok to be selfish.” I thought, “wow what a self centered thing to say.” I then thought…..”this person is obviously not married, nor has kids.”
It is true, Jillian Michael’s doesn’t have many people to serve except herself but, she does have a point. Sometimes, as a mom, wife, Christian, daughter, sister, mother (list can continue but we can leave it there)…… you are CONSTANTLY giving. Even at my sickest, on my darkest days being sick in bed last year, I felt guilty for being where I was. (like I had a choice in the matter) To the spoken truth, this was out of my control. I shouldn’t have felt guilty but I did and still have. Guilt can butcher our confidence as who we are. I really thing there are reasons we should feel guilty, however guilt can run ramped if you let it.
The other night was New Years, I had an amazing night ahead of me. My husband and I was going to go to a sponsored event (by Colgate Wisps) in the city. I was busy trying to work on my computer all the way up till the time we took the kids to the babysitters my parents. I left the babysitters my Mom and Dad’s feeling guilty because I had to work on NEW YEARS NIGHT with Colgate. I then came home to a webserver that was down and had to leave “work” guilty because my site, Party Planning Professor, was broken and not serving others to take a shower.
It was in the shower when I realized-hmmm when was the last time I had taken a shower???? Guilt again (I am sure it hasn’t been that long) but really my husband probably hates me because I am gross. (guilt again) It was not very long before I started feeling guilty for leaving my house because it was/is a mess. Then we got in the car and filled it with gas-ahggg guilt again-money that could be used for something else. I spent the next 45 minutes justifying my time away from my kids, my reasoning for getting my husband into a suit (He hates that) and then justifying that it’s ok if Party Planning Professor is down because no one is planning a party on New Years Eve…..they are usually Partying on New Years Eve. I made it to the event alive. Was I having fun yet? Wait, this was work, no fun. I was there to promote Colgate.
But then we arrived. My name was on “the list” and I knew that 2010 was going to be brought in city style. I never thought I would be at a party with over 1,700 people to ring in the new year. (It’s just not our normal style) I slipped on my heels and thought “this is out of this world.” I am showered. I am at the georgous party. My husband is so handsome in his suit (not feel guilty about him being handsome-that’s his problem lol) and I was smokin. The only thing I was wearing that was my own was my underwear…..everything else was borrowed from my mom or my sisters. Gosh, I felt good. I felt pretty. I also felt fun.
Why was I feeling bad about being in a pretty dress and not being in Pajamas unshowered?
Yeah I am not sure. It took me a little while to realize that although I was there to promote colgate, I was still going to enjoy the moment and play a little. We mingled. I got interviewed and all, in all, it was soooo much fun and it wasn’t just “me” that had fun -hub did too. (no guilt) The night was magical, romantic, and was it so selfish to take a night out on the town or inside the Constitution Center.
Did I mention that after a while I kinda enjoyed looking pretty clean. 
. I felt selfish but It was ok-I looked good for being an overworked mom of two, wife to one, and work-a-holic of a website owner. I looked good and I realized it’s ok to have a moment and be just a little selfish every now and then. So, maybe Jillian Michaels was right. Having pride in yourself is not a bad thing. To loose weight, to look good,…. it is ok. It’s a good thing to…get out of the pajamas…and look good. A little selfish play can be good for you. It can be good for your husband too. Play on!
It is ok to be selfish every now and again! and working on NYE (even if it was fun) is not being selfish! Your boys can spend time with their grandparents and it will be ok!! They will all cherish that time together! Heck, my daughter calls my mom all the time and they have a great bond – now she goes to mom-mom’s so often that hubby and I just hang at home! We can’t go out as often as the kid does! Taking time for you is essential! It is hard but you have to do it more often! You should have date nights with your husband often and if you can’t or don’t want to spend a fortune I have tons of ideas for cheap date nights! Boardwalk, beach walk, the lighthouse, a picnic anywhere (and if its cold – take the kids to gramma’s and have a picnic in your living room).
Take some time that is just for you!! Shower daily!! You will thank yourself for that time! Don’t feel guilty, ENJOY the time!!
Be selfish! it is good for you!
I feel riddled with guilt daily. There is comfort in knowing I am not the only one. It’s good to have permission for those ’selfish’ moments, like our sleepover a few weeks back.
Yes so true….and the shower thing….isnt a guilt thing. I think its me being obsessed with work when I am feeling good enough too. That all needs to stop. I loved being selfish-write on!!! or right on??? lol I am a selfish mommy!!! hahahaha
that sleepover was fun. Stressful though!!! We need to go on a trip and not have a party to throw the next day. LOL Being selfish was so good for me. I needed that.
[...] to have a Midnight New Year’s Kiss Party that was inspired by wisp kiss and also attended the Philadelphia New Year’s Party which was unlike that party she planned (in every way) but she still enjoyed it. Also, if you [...]
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