Do Mean Girls Grow Up to be Mean Mommies?
The past months have had me revisiting my high school days. I was not of of the popular kids. Even my closest friends will tell you I was not one of the “cool” kids. I was caught between two worlds. I had smart friends, the nerds or geeks (some would say, but they were cooler than that) and the dirtbags (they weren’t but to the A-crowd, they probably appeared that way.) For my high school friends reading this now, know that I love 
you and you all got me through very difficult times. How fortunate for me that the degree of meanness in girls today did not exist back then.
This blog for me is brutally honest. My blogging mentor, Elizabeth Norton is the risk-taker, putting herself out there, telling things like they are, brutally honest, incredibly brave. So I put this out there knowing that some who know me and read this will know exactly what I am talking about and maybe offended. I put this out there knowing that the “cool” mommies who don’t like to associate with me will have one more reason not to. I put this out there as a children’s business owner knowing that it may turn some potential clients away.
But if you didn’t like me before nothing I do or say will change that. If you don’t see me capable of providing your child with an awesome party, that’s your loss. If you treat my child differently because how you’ve judged me, shame on you. In the end, God will judge us all.
The last few weeks have left me disappointed in some of my mommy peers. It has given me a first-hand account of how mean mommies can be. Mommies come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. We differ in our educational backgrounds, income levels, and working statuses. Instead of separating ourselves by such things, why can’t we unite in our love for our children? Why can’t we work together in our desire to make a better world for our children? When we disagree, why must things turn ugly?
Without being too specific, I was part of a group whose purpose I thought was to work together to create a great environment for our children to learn. I asked questions when there were things I didn’t understand. I offerred suggestions I thought could make things better. When a close friend had an issue that needed resolving, I helped bring it forward. Who knew such actions could cause such alienation by moms I thought were my peers.
As I listened, I was floored by what these moms had to say about my dear friend. A disagreement about how things should be resulted in a very personal attack on her and me. Thirty minutes or so later of listening to them question her character left me heartbroken. How could moms, who all want the same thing, be so mean towards another mom? I wish I could say in the days that followed things got better, they didn’t. To add insult to injury, I was informed that I was not liked by my peers and I’ve been met with icy cold stares as I’ve passed my peers in the hallways.
It’s all brought me back to my high school days. Remember the “mean” girls who alienated those different from them or who threatened to cause a disruption to their way of doing things. My current life is like that all over again. The mean girls grew up to be mean mommies. Who knew such childish behavior would follow me from my high school days to my mommy days? Who knew? And how disappointing?
How sad for our children to see the adults, who are supposed to show them right from wrong, exhibit such poor behaviors. When my son says, ” Mommy, why is she looking at you that way?” What do I say?
A good friend’s Facebook status recently quoted Immaculee Illibagiza, “If you have to choose between being right and being kind, always choose to be kind.” Words to live by. In a difficult situation it maybe hard to see right from wrong. We may disagree on what is right. But it should never be hard to make the choice to be kind.
I am so incredibly blessed that in my circle of friends the choice is always to be kind. With my friends we lift each other up, we support each other, we don’t tear each other down. If we are truly to be united in our effort to make the world better for our children, shouldn’t this be the way to be? Can we put aside our differences, our desire to be mean, and be at least civil to each other?
You may not like me, you may disagree with me and my views, but please don’t bring shame to you and me by showing me and my children just how mean you can be.
Well dont you sound like a b*(moderaterremoved)*h, seems to me that ur the only one reliving her high school days. mean mommies? what are you two?
Dear “Your Mom”
Maybe you should google a little more. Find out that links being emailed back and forth can be traced, things googled and searched can be traced, ohhhh and the IP address of everyone that read this post can be traced including your above comment. Honey…..nothing is anonymous on the internet. Babe……Perhaps you should look at the mirror and think before you call someone a mean name….because mean name calling…..kind of makes you “a mean mommy”.
Ohhh P.s. I would tell you where you live in this comment but I won’t…..I have more class then you.
from,
not your mom- Elizabeth
Jen-I dont know half the deal with your people or what inspired your post but…I think perhaps your commenter proved your point to be true. ROFL!!!
Write on girl!!!! Speak your mind and don’t be scared of who might know whats on your heart. If they can’t take it then they don’t know what a GEM you are.
Elizabeth
I totally agree Elizabeth some women grow up to be the same mean, angry people they’ve always been. I’ve found more lately then not instead of just walking away from a relationship some women have to keep at the personal attacks. It’s so high school so totally mean mommie.
Jen you said it best…
When we disagree, why must things turn ugly?
I don’t have the answer. I ask myself this over and over again. I was a foster kid so I guess maybe I’m different. I can easily move on, start over. I’ve done it over and over again. Some people can’t.
I wish humans were different. Maybe it’s the times we live in. No one really cares for anyone. I’m glad you have some good friends. Ones you can put your heart in to. It’s so hard to find.
And for that we *cheers*
Seems that no one can agree to disagree. It is like reliving high school days.
“your mom”. Whatever. Seriously, why are you even here?
While holding this migraine I could say a few things back, but I’m going to tug up my big girl panties and settle with you suffer from pms.
Great post Elizabeth!
I’m not sure what disgusts me more.
The fact that these grown women act this way, or that they are probably pushing this garbage off on their kids.
I hate to say this Jen but I think that meanness is ingrained in it. Some of us just have a better handle on it.
I truly believe that anything is possible when a group of mothers get together and it saddens me when we choose to tear each other down instead.
Just remember that some people are most happy when they are bringing others down because it makes them feel better about themselves.
Just keep on keeping on and don’t give them another thought..
UGH – I hate this behavior and don’t understand why grown (or supposedly grown) women have to act better than anyone else. I think it feeds their ego and insecurities. That’s the only thing I can come up with!
Great post Jenn!
Your Mom: your a coward. At least if your going to leave a negative comment be woman enough to say who you are!
I just ignore mean people. They can just take their Hateraide and go home!! I feel sorry for people like that!
So many things to say, so many thoughts I have. I will save most of them for another blog.
“your mom” I am sorry you felt the need to hide behind an anonymous-type name. But thank you for your comment. Face or noface, name or noname, your comment had value and added value to what I had to say and said.
The power of the internet and social media is that there are always others who feel like we do. The flood of comments that came in after yours showed that there are more marvelous mommies than mean mommies. For that I am thankful and blessed.
Leave your response!
More parenting videos on JuiceBoxJungle
Most searched
Most Commented
About Us